Why does my mother put her poop in toilet paper and want to give it to me? (2024)

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Yolanda50 Asked May 22, 2024

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Dementia Behaviors Family Caregiver Toileting

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funkygrandma59 May 22, 2024

I'm guessing because you didn't listen to the advice from your previous question about your mother putting her poop in the waste paper basket where you were informed multiple times that your mother should not be allowed in the bathroom any longer by herself, but should instead now be supervised at all times.
I'm wondering what part of that advice did you not understand?

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AlvaDeer May 22, 2024

I kind of think I remember a Yolanda from some time ago with these sort of questions multipel times, FunkyG.
I am thinking perhaps our collective legs are being pulled.
We'll see.

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Grandma1954 May 22, 2024

With all that is going on with your mom she needs to be closely monitored in the bathroom.
Making sure she cleans properly
Does not put to much toilet paper in the toilet or flush wipes.
Handwashing
Making sure that if her underwear or pull ups are soiled they are changed.
This is also a great time for you to check the condition of her skin looking for any red marks, bruising, blotchy coloring, rashes and the like.

The reason she tries to hand you fecal matter in a piece of toilet paper is known to her and her alone. She probably could not tell you why if you asked. maybe she wants to make sure that it is disposed of properly and she does not know where to put it.

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97yroldmom May 22, 2024

Possibly because you told her not to put it in the waste basket or it may go way back to being potty trained and she is proud she had NOT pooped in her pants?? Pick a reason. There could be many. But for whatever reason she is giving you fair warning that this is her reality for the moment and it will progress as more and more of her brain is taken over by her disease.

It calls for a caregiver to monitor her at all times, especially around toileting, My DH aunt would use a roll of TP each time she went. After a few expensive plumber visits I bought a commode that was advertised to flush a bucket of golf balls. That helped with plumbing bills and bought a bit more time with less supervision of toileting but it wasn’t long before the pull-ups were flushed or not changed. And a little later, not bothering to go to the bathroom at all and having to be led to the bathroom and then losing the ability to walk to the bathroom to being bed bound. It is a progression.

What is your situation Yolanda? Do you have any help? When did you last get a break from the caregiving? Is mom living in your house with you or you with her? Give us a snapshot of your situation with mom.

Always a good idea is to Call your Area Agency on Aging. Each county has one. See what services might be available for you and mom. Their mission is to keep elders in the home as long as possible and they try to help with the resources they have. Even a tiny bit of help is worth reaching out for.

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PeggySue2020 May 22, 2024

Remove the tp roll, instead handing her sheets when the bm is over. If she hands them to you, there’s at least not a log in it.

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waytomisery May 22, 2024

Hold up a trash can in your hands so she can’t put the toilet paper in your hands , hopefully she’ll put the paper in the trash can . Her brain is broken.

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AlvaDeer May 22, 2024

Dementia. Her brain isn't functioning properly.

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lealonnie1 May 22, 2024

In your last question, you asked if it was normal/common for your mother with dementia to wipe and throw her toilet paper into the waste basket. You were given lots of good comments regarding bathroom habits of elders with dementia, did you read them?

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/mother-wipes-and-throw-tissue-in-waste-basket-is-this-common-487437.htm?orderby=recent

I suggest you pick up a copy of the book Understanding the Dementia Experience by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller on Amazon so you can learn about dementia and how to deal with your mom and what to expect. Her brain is damaged now, so she needs to be accompanied to the bathroom each time. She's no longer aware of where feces belong, or what to do with the toilet paper once it's soiled.

Good luck to you.

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AlvaDeer May 22, 2024

I actually believe that I recall this name from past times?

I don't remember much anymore, but I think I do remember that.

Reminds me of when I was a kid and we all got together, used our rotary dial phones to call hardware stores and ask for outlandish products, then collapse in the giggles. Those poor hard working folks out there! It's about maturity, I think.

Then we get TOO mature, and it's the slide down the other side of the mountain we just climbed!

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Geaton777 May 22, 2024

From your profile:

I am caring for my mother... who is 91 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, incontinence, and parkinson's disease."

It's her dementia causing her to do this. My 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia would chew her food and then spit out each mouthful into a napkin (1 per mouthful) and keep it on her place. Also covered up her food with napkins, etc. There's no "reason" why your Mom is doing it, this is just what her broken brain is telling her.

To stop the behavior... if she is wearing disposable briefs, then you can add "adaptive" clothing, such as an anti-strip jumpsuit, which will prevent her from accessing her brief after a BM. This way you can control it.

If she isn't wearing disposable briefs, please convert her to these (and throw out all cloth undies) and get the anti-strip clothing for her.

https://www.silverts.com/all-adaptive/pants/alzheimer-s-jumpsuits

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Why does my mother put her poop in toilet paper and want to give it to me? (2024)

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